and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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