she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
