Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
