At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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