i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
