a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
In the future we'll all be gay
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize