And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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