You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Ketchup is God's man juice
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
