i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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