She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
