Texts From Last Night

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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You don't have asthma, your pregnant

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  (250): You don't have asthma, your pregnant http://tfl.nu/jkmk
  Replies (5) Good night (558) Bad night (1278) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Where are you?

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Strip Club

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  (508): Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends. (617): Where are you? (508): Strip Club http://tfl.nu/9e3o
  Replies (15) Good night (2920) Bad night (660)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol

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  (309): nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol http://tfl.nu/jhs1
  Replies (54) Good night (1543) Bad night (3241) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up

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  (785): If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up http://tfl.nu/fktn
  Replies (9) Good night (884) Bad night (2728) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely

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  (908): Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely http://tfl.nu/evtu
  Replies (13) Good night (556) Bad night (4475) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  alright she left, finally time to fart up the room

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  (347): alright she left, finally time to fart up the room http://tfl.nu/utm3
  Replies (17) Good night (3525) Bad night (1115) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.

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  (203): Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room. http://tfl.nu/4omc
  Replies (10) Good night (2744) Bad night (1055) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question

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  (303): No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question http://tfl.nu/r4al
  Replies (7) Good night (3095) Bad night (868) Order T-Shirt
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.

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  (228): Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park. http://tfl.nu/g3vi
  Replies (11) Good night (1554) Bad night (1247) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato

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  (708): you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato http://tfl.nu/7tnq
  Replies (3) Good night (2366) Bad night (387) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.

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  (586): We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate. http://tfl.nu/plc2
  Replies (2) Good night (1689) Bad night (567) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!

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  (702): i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield! http://tfl.nu/o1fu
  Replies (1) Good night (403) Bad night (778) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late

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  (775): This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late http://tfl.nu/ovyj
  Replies (2) Good night (497) Bad night (198)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.

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  (321): I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out. http://tfl.nu/5y00
  Replies (4) Good night (1421) Bad night (145) Order T-Shirt
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.

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  (912): He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it. http://tfl.nu/1cfw
  Replies (3) Good night (775) Bad night (186) Order T-Shirt

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