You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
