This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
