You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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