So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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