I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
