i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
