I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Two words: blizzard sex
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize