I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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