can u get pink eye on your cock?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
