so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
my liver is dry heaving
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
