sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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