I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
