he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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