I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
