I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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