yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He passed out mid-signature
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
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