Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You need a sexual gate keeper
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
