I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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