The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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