if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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