sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
