She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
