I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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