i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
