She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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