when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
