I just pynch a tree in the face
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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