i just google imaged poop.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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