just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
