there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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