I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
