I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize