It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
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