And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
All I want is dick and wine.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
