Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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