Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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