When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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