my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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