If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
