I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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