First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
