Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
