Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
