Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
