How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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