You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
