Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
