He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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