I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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