we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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