i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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