Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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